In w/ the new, out w/ the old.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007 at 10:32 pm 1 comment

Hey, what’s up?

So, like my post title implies, the new is good. However, before one believes it is good, he might have to admit that the new is frightening. Okay, well, only a few people might have to do so. In one case, I am one of them.

So yesterday I had a good conversation with my friend, Nita. We got to talking about how things were, what was new, and the like, of course. Who wouldn’t talk about that? Anyway, the next thing we breached upon was how we really were feeling, haha. In fact, I don’t think she had anything really different to comment on. However, I came to and explained how worried I was that my friends would mention that I’m ‘different’ compared to how I was before the accident. I’ve had some friends tell me, and some simply imply it. Before yesterday, I was terrified of the idea of being different. I was happy with my status before the accident. I didn’t think I had dramatic changes to make in my life. (and who does, i guess!) Now, after waking up from a two-week vacation (or many other nouns, such as ‘dark hole’, ‘escape’, ‘nothingness’, ‘dream’, ‘estranged existence’, etc…) it has come to my understanding that I am “different.” Had I wanted to be different, I might have no problem with the outcome of my TBI. And hey, I know I’m still a positive, good-hearted person, but when someone takes the easy way out and just says ‘different’, it’s scary. What if ‘different’ really means ‘unbearable’ ? Perhaps it all came about because I received alot of implications, and not so many straightforward answers. I got through it, however, so I couldn’t care less about how it all came to be. Now, I’m just glad I still have friends, and people still care about me. Surprisingly, after a TBI, some people really do backflips and change their personalities (not by choice, though!). I’ve either heard, or read about, an injury like this destroying marriages because it’s like ‘having woken up next to a stranger’. For the good or the bad, I wake up next to nobody (except on occasion my family’s cat, Pedals). If anything, I can tell you that I am occasionally more confident (or cocky, take your pick.) than I was prior to the accident. And go figure, I have less sympathy for people who show little care about traffic accidents. Reminds me of my habit: when an ambulance with it’s siren/lights passes me, I make sure to cross my fingers…

Hopefully soon I will be able to update you with some really exciting news! One can only hope! I indeed hope you all have an amazing day!



Entry filed under: Brain Injury.

Back to the grind I found my iPod!

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. caitlin  |  Thursday, February 1, 2007 at 8:44 am

    you’re still one of a kind– in a good way =)
    hope the states are treating you well


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